When it comes to recovery, there is an emphasis on finding a good support network and letting them help you along the way to your recovery. This is mostly indicated for people with addictions, such as alcoholism or drugs. But it is also advocated in depression and anxiety as well. What I have learned from this is that despite how many people you reach out to, despite how many people say that you can call them day or night, there is only one person you can count on.
And that presents a problem because you are already in suffering and pain when you need support the most. The makes it extremely difficult to get help when you need it the most. But you are the only one who can provide the support you need. This is yet another habit that I must maintain when it comes to the struggle back.
Relying on others usually puts a burden on them that they did not know they would have to bear. And in my personal experience, it has proven to be too much. There is only one person that can understand what exactly will help you out of the current position that you are in. And that is your own mind.
Getting out of your mind, and looking at it from an outside perspective is one of the most difficult things in the world to do. Especially when you are in the the throes of despair and loneliness. But it is something that you have to train your mind to do, because nobody else can do it for you.
A good support network is a great asset to have in these situations, but you have to understand how much you can expect from it. You can tell them how you are doing and the things that you have been working on, but you cannot expect them to take the thoughts in your head and put them into their own. People cannot or will not do that for you.
You must deal with those thoughts and feelings on your own first, and figure out a way to deal with them on your own. Take the advice of others, look to them for guidance, but do not expect them to solve anything for you. You have to solve it yourself. Support network is not Fix It For Me network. it is a group of people that will support you while you are putting in the tremendous effort it takes to rebuild yourself from these incidents.
You must learn to understand your mind, and understand your illness, whatever it may be. For me depression and anxiety. For others, anything from compulsive gambling to an impulsive need for attention to alcoholism to drug addiction. People are there for you in your time of need, but you have to be there for yourself in ways that no one else can possibly be.
You are the one that you have to count on. Day in and day out. It has to be you. You cannot expect someone else to take on your burden. You must bear it and wrestle with it and beat it to the ground every single day and moment of your life. Sometimes you will win, most times you will lose. Especially in the beginning. But the more you fight, the more you will learn. And the stronger your mind’s resolve will become.
You have to be able to count on yourself.