I am surrounded by fear. I don’t know where to turn, or who I can turn too. I have never felt more alone. The days have turned into weeks, the weeks into months. I can scarcely remember the times before. How it all came to be is the most terrifying thing of all. Precisely because I don’t know how it call came to be. I had my suspicions, that I am sure of. But my conscious mind told me I was paranoid. Idiot! Looking back things could never have been clearer.
Never would I have thought that I would live to see the day when the lessons of our past would be so entirely forgotten. Forgotten, or maybe even ignored. People that I thought I knew have turned into entities that I can’t even recognize anymore. I imagine that I have turned into something similar in their eyes. I am constantly looking over my shoulder, scurrying between places, not going out unless it is absolutely necessary.
I had thought about rebellion. What a silly idea that seems now. To think that anyone else feels the way that I do now seems unlikely to me. People have turned on each other. Fear grips the population with a hold that suffocates the conscious mind. What seemed like silly paranoias before turned into dark suspicions. :The majority says that they are not discriminating, they are merely exposing the truth. But the truth has never been more obscured. The differences that they see in others are figments of their imagination, a useful tool in their conquest of fear.
If only they knew that fear cannot be conquered with force. Fear is not borne of the outside world, but of the internal. Fear is the idea of the unknown that confronts a person. Death. Non-existance. That is all that it is. People are scared of the things that they don’t know. The things that don’t make sense to them. And there are an infinite number of things that don’t make sense. Looking back on history it is easy to see the errors of their judgments. What is impossible is to see the errors of our own. We thought that we lived in a civilized society, one that had shunned ignorance and embraced knowledge and progress. How wrong we were.
When fear is allowed to control the actions of the many against the few, progress and knowledge can never be attained. Only ignorance and despair. Perhaps what is worse than acting on fear, is standing by when the actions of the fearful target the weak and the few. I am confronted every day by the shame that I feel from not having spoken out before. Why hadn’t I stood up when I was sure that there were others like me? Why had I deluded myself for so long that the hate and the vitriol would subside, and that reason and rationality would prevail. Rationality will never prevail. The ignorant and the hateful will always be able to control the hateful and the ignorant. It doesn’t matter what group they target, as long as it isn’t them.